Names

Names.

So the other shoe did not drop. Despite a nagging fear of the unknown and of the known (what I do know of marriage), I got married and it was spectacularly beautiful and fun and the memory of it was all cool grays and warm oranges and lots of champagne and happiness.

The month before the wedding of course, I had to decide what to do with my name.

I kept my name.

Mostly, so people could find me again if they wanted to. And because some of my friends still call me by my entire name – Tabitha Pang, just because. And it always makes me smile. You know, I thought I’d want to lose that name as soon as possible, bring to a complete close, any connection to my father. But that ugly old wound will never close and you know when your mom tells you, don’t lose who you are, you have to listen to her.